O Brother, How Dumb Are Thou?
by SongOnTheBreeze
Summary: A series of shorts dedicated to the siblings of Naruto. Latest: Kiba goes missing while he's grounded and Hana is sent to find him. She discovers him flirting. Hilarity ensues. PLEASE R and R.


When I was watching Naruto the other day, I thought there must be moments with siblings in the Naruto-verse, as there is with every sibling in the world, where one takes the time to bug the crap out of the other. So, this is a series of shorts dedicated to all those brothers and sisters out there who have ever said "How stupid are you?"

First up: The Inuzuka siblings. I haven't seen the chapter or episode featuring Hana, so I don't know what her personality is like. I hope this is good enough.

Enjoy, and please, please, please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any characters of the series. They all belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Because if I owned them, Choji would be dating Ino and Sasuke would be dead by now. :)

* * *

Hana Inuzuka sighed as her customer, carrying his ball of lard of a cat with him, walked out the door in a huff.

_Why do people even bother to bring their pets here if they don't want to listen to what I've got to tell them? _she thought in exasperation. _I don't care what that guy said, I know he's been feeding that poor cat table scraps, and that's what turned it into a ten-pound salami in a nine-pound skin._

Shaking her head at how stupid people could be, she turned to clean up her desk and table. If she left them dirty again, her mom would have a cow.

A knock sounded on the door.

"Come in."

Hm. Speak of the devil.

"Hana," Tsume Inuzuka said, sounding annoyed, "Do you have any clue where that brother of yours has gotten to? I've been looking all over the clan compound for him, but he's no where to be seen! I think he snuck out. He's supposed to be grounded..."

"Hmm...Have you checked the northern field? He likes to go and practice his maneuvers with Akamaru over there."

Tsume snorted. "Yes, I have, hence 'I've looked all over the compound for him!'. I need someone to go look in Konoha for me and see if they can find him. And when he is found..." She cracked he knuckles threateningly.

Hana internally grumbled. She didn't like where this was going...

"Say, honey."

She flinched; her mom only called her honey when she wanted something from her. Despite her slightly crazy demeanor, she was extremely lazy when she wanted to be.

"Could you do me a big favor?"

"No, mom! I'm busy."

Hana mentally slapped herself for saying that as her mother raised an eyebrow and slowly looked around the room.

"Really? Well, I guess every one of your customers has suddenly become invisible."

Well, she had a point.

"Erm...well..."

"Go into the village for me and look for Kiba, before he does something stupid...again."

"But, mom, I need to clean up around here."

Tsume waved the thought away, leaning against the door frame. "I'll do that. You go and look for your brother."

Hana sighed in defeat. There was no way she was going to win this battle.

Shrugging out of her white coat, she draped it across the back of the chair at her desk and brushed past her mom out the door.

This wasn't going to be fun.

* * *

Hana walked through the streets of Konoha, holding a demeanor that made everyone in her general vicinity slide to the other side of the wide expanse of pavement.

She'd been looking for her brother for an hour. There was no sign of him, not even a scent. She guessed he must of used one of those skills Tsume had taught him to cover it up.

Stupid Kiba. Why did he have to pull stunts like this? It would be so much better for him, and so much less annoying for Hana, if he would just except his punishment like a man.

He was so immature when it came to this stuff. Ugh, boys.

A familiar laugh came to her ears, and she paused, trying to pinpoint it.

The laugh came again, along with another, lighter one, and she managed to track it to the alley on the opposite side of the road. Quietly stepping over, she peered around the corner.

Kiba was standing a few feet away, leaning lazily against a wall and flirting with a pretty blond girl. Akamaru was beside them, wagging his tail as the girl stroked his head. As Hana watched, Kiba leaned forward to mutter something into her ear, and they both laughed again.

Oh, he was so going to get it when Hana got ahold of him. Sneaking out just to talk to girls...

She was about to march down the alley to get him when an idea popped into her mind. A devilish grin spread across her face.

This was just too good an oppurtunity to pass up.

Shoving her hand into her pocket and pulling out a small bottle, she pushed away the laugh threatening to well up inside her and started to walk casualy down the alley toward the oblivious teens.

"Hey, Kiba."

The sound of his sister's voice made the young Inuzuka jump. Turning slowly, he grinned sheepishly up at Hana.

"Er, hey sis. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much. How about you?"

Kiba raised an eyebrow at her cheery mood. "Uh, nothing. I was just talking to Hitsuji here." He gestured vaguely to the blond. She gave Hana a bright smile and a hello.

"Anyway, Kiba, mom's looking for you."

Kiba looked nervous now. "Uh, ah, really? Okay."

"Yeah." She was barely keeping the smile of her lips now. "She sent me to remind you that you forgot your lotion."

Kiba raised his eyebrow again, giving his sister a look that said 'Have you lost it?'

"What lotion?"

Hana smiled, holding up the little bottle, being careful to use her finger to cover the label, which read 'hairball remedy'. Boy, was she glad she carried stuff like that in her pocket.

"You know." She glanced over at the girl, who looked confused, then continued. "The lotion for your..itch."

"Uh...what itch?"

He really looked wary now.

"You know...That itch you got from Akamaru, when he gave you fleas."

Kiba's eyes widened, realizing what she was doing. He glanced over at Hitsuji, who had abruptly stopped petting Akamaru, much to the large dogs annoyance.

"I'm, umm, I'm over that now, sis." he muttered, glaring at her. "So, I don't need it, and if you don't mind..."

She was on the verge of tears from holding back her laughter, but she had to last just one more minute...

"Oh, but I thought you said that you still had a bit of it on your...er...left 'cheek'."

Kiba's jaw nearly hit the ground as Hitsuji's eyebrows shot skyward.

"Um, Kiba, I just realized that I have, um, something to do...I'll see you later."

She was half-way down the alley before he could reply.

Kiba stared after her longingly, then turned to his sister, his eyes blazing.

"Why did you do that? I had a shot with her, and you ruined it! And, Akamaru hasn't had fleas in years! I only got a couple of bites then!"

Hana finally started to laugh. "Well," she said between bursts of laughter, "That's what you get for going out of the compound when you know you're grounded."

Kiba huffed, then started down the alley, ignoring his sister.

"Ugh, you're so annoying!"

Hana dried the tears of mirth from her eyes, then followed him.

"Love you too, little brother, love you too."

* * *

I think the next one will be about a young Raikage and Killer Bee. I'll have it up soon.

So...review?


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